Parody Lesser Race Traits


By Martin Leuschen
martinl@rice.edu



Act I: The PRT's

: *Inter-Stellar Reveller*

: Your race likes to party. You spread the joy around. Everyone
: likes you, except for a few power-mad interstellar emperors, who
: often send their fleets to destroy you. If only they could
: find crews for these ships that didn't like to party...

: _Any_ ship orbiting a planet you control has a chance to defect to
: your side every turn - roughly (Population/100,000) %. (Cargo will
: be jettisoned to get to the party faster and prevent super-breeders.)
: If there are enemy ships left (likely), battle will then ensue, as
: your newly converted ships go on a drunken cruise.


: *Planet Demolition*

: You like to blow things up. You're really good at it, and don't
: restrict yourself to deep space like those pansy SDs, either.

: Bombs cost you half as much and are twice as effective. (Double
: kill #s and percentages, as well as installations destroyed.) You
: aslo have access to the retro bomb (Finally a use for it!), the
: Apple Bomb (twice as effective as a Cherry), and the "Planetcracker"
: series of bombs. (Destroy only defenses.) Only you can build the
: the B-2 and B-99 bomber hulls. (B-2 is gateable and has 130dp and
: a shield slot to survive mines, B-99 is a "Dreadnaught" bomber).

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


: *Jack o' Lantern*

: All of your ships get inbuilt 30X/60X (X is your Elec tech level)
: scanner with 5% intrinsic tachyon detection. You can build
: additional TDs when you earn that technology. You cannot use
: cloaks.

: SS hates you. Live with it.


: *Alternate Morality*

: You don't approve of war one bit. You would rather die.

: And you do. A lot.

: Your race is similar to the standard AR, but you can never
: research, build, or even fire a (presumably traded) weapon.
: You cannot build remote miners, as the only purpose of such
: obscene quantities of minerals is (obviously) warfare.


: In compensation, you get double the growth rate listed in the
: RW, and colonists who grow in transport like IS.

: Find an ally. Now.


: *Stupor Stealth*

: You are the intergalactic equivalent of a couch potato. No
: one notices you unless you move.

: You get a base 98% built-in cloak as long as you aren't moving.
: Various activities (minelaying, moving (higher Warps are worse),
: fighting, loading, etc.) reduce this. Tachyon detectors _don't_
: reduce this.

: Your lazy colonists produce resources at half the rate listed
: in the RW. Luckily, your factories and mines are automated.


: *Inner Stench*

: Your colonists _stink_. Colonies you occupy are -15% terraformed
: for everyone but you. Ex - you have Rad 50, Scoobis have Rad 40,
: Shaggis have rad 60. If you settle Lopsided (rad 42), the Shaggies
: now see it as rad 27, the Scoobis as rad 57. You still see it as
: rad 42, and can terriform normally. This effect lingers even after
: you leave the planet.

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


: *Pickpocket Physics*

: You have access to all the normal PP flingers, but suffer from
: IT penalties while using them yourself. However, any enemy planet
: withing "range" (1 year warp at nominal speed) of one of your
: flingers loses 1% of its minerals each turn, and packets in range
: lose 10%. (Not cumulative.) You get them.

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


: *Hyper Competitor*
: You love a challenge. You cannot set any race to ally or neutral,
: nor use the "attack no one" battle order - your ships and bases
: will always attack anyone they can. It's not personal or anything,
: but your colonists will use any excuse to fight.

: You get the WM movement and colonist attack bonii, and fratricide
: amonst your own people limits your planet size. (HE settings, but
: without the special hulls.) Striving amonst your ship crews
: results in a 1% chance of destruction every year they're not in
: a serious fight. (Serious = losses on both sides.)

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


: *IronMonger*

: Your colonists love Ironium. You mine ironium at double your listed
: mining efficiency. However, your colonists refuse to give any iron
: away to anyone. You cannot transfer ironium to any planet without
: one of your starbases in orbit, lest Ironium be wasted. You cannot
: load colonists from a planet unless you take all the ironium first.
: If your colonists or ships are killed, they take the ironium with them
: into the next life. You cannot trade ships, for similar reasons.
: Even a SS cannot take any of your precious ironium.

: You know the Iron concentration of every planet in the galaxy from
: the start. For aesthetic reasons, factories and mines cost you 2
: ironium in addition to the usual expense.

: You tend to have big fleets of missile ships. Killing them results
: in no Ironium for the victors.

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


: *Tax Adjuster*

: You steal intelligence like a SS, only all the other races _lose_
: research equivalent to what you gained. (Min total 0 points, so
: no race loses tech.) You also get free minerals at your HW equal
: to 1% of all the minerals mined in the galaxy. Everyone else loses
: 5% of mining as long as you own your HW. (There are some
: regrettable inefficiencies in the system.)

: Everyone hates you. Live with it.


Act II: The LRTs

: "Cheap Computers" : 25% each shot that your computers lock up
: and don't help your torps. Reboot and hope they work next
: shot. Each computer gets +1 init, when they work.

: "Low Starting Popularity" : All other races start with you set
: to enemy. No one is allowed to change that until you develop
: biotech 10 deoderants. Biotech 18 is required for "friends."

: "No Advanced Weapons" : No range 3 beams are available to you,
: and your torpedoes and missiles have their base accuracy halved
: and their range reduced by one. Your armor and shields are
: half cost and 1.5x dp. You'll need it.

: "Mineral Astrology" : You can tell the minerals concs and
: surface mins of any planet in scan range, to +/- 25%.
: Unfortunately, that is the best you can determine *any*
: planet's minerals, including your own.

: "Increased Drool Efficiency" : Drool-lubed lauch tubes
: increase the init of all torps by 1. All beams take an
: extra 25% penalty to damage per square of range, since
: the drool interferes with delicate aiming mechanisms.

: "Improved Electric Basses" : Due to superior rock-and-roll
: technology, your people are unimpressed by loud noise and
: explosions. Bombs are only 1/4 effective against you.

: "No Pooper Scoopers" : Retarded pet care technology reduces
: the effectiveness of your terraforming efforts. Each world
: randomly deterraforms 1 click 5% of turns as pet waste gets
: out of control.

: "Degenerate Shields" : Your shield technology is a sapient, but
: decadent energy life form. Any shielded starbase will kill
: (shield rating) pop per turn beneath it. Shielded fleets don't
: kill, but reduce pop growth by (TL of strongest shield)% when
: in orbit. On the bright side, shields cost you zero minerals.

: "Generalized Robots": Your automation technology takes a
: holistic approach. Minimum contribution to research per planet
: is 25%, max is 75%. Each factory counts as 100 colonists during
: attacks. Every turn, there is a 1% chance each planet's Q isn't
: implemented as the Robots decide to discuss philosophy.

: "Only Basic Remote Controls" : Your scientists are incapable of
: making a decent remote control. Due to the extra time your
: personnel have to spend turning on the wide-screen battleTV,
: all your ships are at -10 init and -1 move on the first turn
: of battle. On the bright side, your civilians are extra-fit since
: they get more exercise than usual changing channels. 1.3x
: defense modifier on planetary invasions.

: "Ultimate Bicycling" : No matter what the hull designer says,
: all your ships use exactly two engines. Note that this will
: make smaller ships much faster but also more expensive, with
: the converse effect on large ships.

: "Advanced Emoting and Miming" : Your race communicates through
: a complex and evocative form of body language. Other races
: find this either extremely beautiful or extremely irritating, and thus
: must have you set to "friend" or "enemy". The propaganda needed
: to change the populace's mind means that any switch will
: take 5 years to implement, and you will learn of the change the
: year after it is implemented.

: "Anecdotal Terraforming" : Your colonists don't terraform using
: complex hardware and massive reactors - they just tell exaggerated
: stories about it. Other colonists in your empire believe them and
: immigrate and grow as if the planet was fully terraformed.
: However, you have a problem convincing your installations, so
: they can only be built up to the planet's actual terraforming
: level. If you want, you can hire alien contractors to terraform
: for 500% of the normal cost.

: "Bloody Edgy Technologists" : Your researchers are excitable, jumpy,
: and just generally unreliable. They research at 133% efficiency,
: but cannot research the same field twice in a row, and they have
: a 15% chance every year of spontaneously switching research fields
: during turn generation.

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